carpe diem

where to go now?

Monday, October 1, 2012

What is it about the anonymity of the internet that brings about the absolute worst in some people?

After I decided to screen my comments I got several more anonymous ones. In varying degrees of hostility.

Someone wrote me to say that they know won't publish it but they just wanted me to know how that I'm trash and they have no sympathy for me.

 She seemed to take it awfully personally. Was she wondering if it was her husband I was fucking?

So umm. As we say in Canada, home of the super polite,

Fuck off, eh?

And no, I'm not going to publish your mean little comment.

Thursday, September 27, 2012


It's breaking my heart - the relationship, crumbling one little piece at a time, sometimes a bigger one.

All the togetherness that made it worth having.

It seems like it's all but gone now.

This blog? I'm sorry, it started off one thing and has become something else hasn't it? As I try to pretend that things are okay. And they aren't.


It's funny cause it's true...

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Happy Groundhog Day

Sorry, that's all I've got today - and all I have time for too.

Taking fantastic treats for lunch for my girlfriends for our special lunch today.

No, we aren't celebrating Groundhog Day, just celebrating Thursday and friendship.

But it would be kind of fun to celebrate GD, wouldn't it? What would we do in D/s world?


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

And Then All of a Sudden...

You know how sometimes you are in the middle of a day, and it's going okay.

Of course it is, it's my day off. And I was going to go to work, but then the weather was bad so I didn't go. And then the weather wasn't that bad. So I decided to go to yoga. 

So my day was going pretty well actually. Weight was good. Ate right.

Went to yoga and it felt good. It was challenging but not impossible to find a place to park my car.

Came home, there was a huge wall of snow across the bottom of my driveway. But then my kid got sent home from school early, cause the school closed early. The big burly shoveling kid. So he shoveled the driveway. Without complaining.

All good eh? 

And then all of a sudden, WHAM!

Bad email.

I should not read email on my day off. I should not read email on my day off. I should not read email on my day off.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Shafia Trial

Today's post is an angry feminist rant about current events. It's not even that coherent. I feel like I have so much to say, and I've run out of time today to say it. But I must say something.

Yesterday there was a court ruling about a case which has captured the attention of Canadians. The parents and brother of 3 murdered girls and their step-mom were found guilty and sentenced to life in prison.

The murders were carried out a couple of years ago. The parents and brother pushed a car that carried the 4 women into a canal. All 4 women drowned.

The reason? Licentious behaviour. The girls, aged 19, 17, and 13 weren't modest enough for the Afghani parents. So they killed them.

There's tons more info on the case here:

Every time I have heard this story on the radio, and there have been numerous reportings on it, I have thought, "those fuckers!" I wish there was a death penalty. I really do. I'm so angry at these people. Can you imagine killing your child? Can you imagine killing 3 of your children? They killed a 13 year old girl for slutty behaviour.

The family moved from Afghanistan to Canada. They're a wealthy family. There was a dad, a mom, the older brother who helped to kill them. The three sisters who died, 2 other sisters and a brother. And the dad's first wife who they brought in a couple months later as a cousin who was going to "help with the housework" or something.

The oldest daughter, Zainab was rebellious. She hung out with boys, she wore makeup and clothes that showed her body. She ran away, to a women's shelter. She got married to someone her parents didn't approve of and then had the marriage annulled. Her behaviour was pretty wild in some ways. Not so wild in others. Not so far off the beaten path of teenage-hood.

The second sister, Sahar, was rebellious too. She hung out with boys, took tarty pics of herself with her cell phone. She dated boys.

The third daughter, Geeti was 13. She asked teachers and schools for help, saying they were going to kill her and then recanted in front of her parents. Pictures of her make her look like a child, not an adolescent. She was a little girl.

The first wife, Rona, was 52. She was barren. She wanted to leave her marriage. She was afraid of her husband. Afraid he would kill her.

All 4 of these women were afraid. Justifiably.

There's a sense that the system let them down. They knew they were in danger, and asked for help, from schools and friends and social workers. They were afraid of being killed and they said so.

We are so politically correct as a culture, so stupidly liberal, that we want to believe that every culture has legitimacy even if it isn't our own. And here's the thing. They don't all have the same legitimacy. Some cultural ways, traditional ways, are just barbaric and evil and repressive. Some are just wrong. We need to say so.

Who decides? Well if you don't feel capable, I can do it, thanks.

These honour killings were that kind of barbaric, primitive, evil thing. This man, their father, obviously the mind behind the crimes, clearly felt that he had the rights to power and control over their sexuality. They were killed because he couldn't control their sexuality.

I seriously hope they put him in jail with a thousand other men and he learns something about sexuality there.